“I have often looked at that picture behind the president without being able to tell whether it was rising or setting.” – Benjamin Franklin

The chair upon which George Washington sat at the Constitutional Convention displayed a half-sun at the top. Benjamin Franklin, analogizing the sun to the new American Republic, wrote that he worried if the sun was rising or setting. The ambiguity of the static sun leaves us to wonder if it is settling in to rest for the night or just emerging to brighten up the world.

The final entry to my performance journal from last year reads “After this meet Plebe year there was a beautiful sunset. This year, the rainclouds blocked out the falling sun.” Two years prior, the sun seemed to be peacefully approaching its well-earned rest. After my Plebe season, I felt that I had beat the odds and succeeded beyond what many had expected me to do. I don’t know that I was content, but in that moment watching the golden sky from the bus window, I could appreciate how far I’d made it. From a podunk town in North Carolina to NCAA Division 1 Track and Field. But last year, after the same meet, I was wistful. The dark sky made me yearn for brighter days. I felt that I had squandered the two years between the two meets, not making any progress. A simple reading of the tape measure would indicate just that, since I had thrown 15.85 in 2022 and 15.93 at the same meet in 2024.

Even so, I think I’ve still got some say as to if the sun is rising or setting. Franklin was able to conclude “But now at length I have the happiness to know that it is a rising and not a setting sun.” My time will come to light up the darkness in this world. The light within me cannot be contained, and we won’t have to question anymore if the sun is rising or setting.